An attorney in the making -- conversations with Jackson

A Day in the Life of a Former Attorney turned Stay at Home Mom:


Jackson loves to talk and he's quite good at it. I have no question the boy's verbal skills are exceptional. What troubles me (and sometimes makes me secretly proud) is his reasoning and logic. There is no doubt that my legal skills are being used to parent this child.

Because Jackson loves to talk, he finds himself in trouble at school. As a result, his teacher keeps a running "tally" of the number of times Jackson gets into trouble. On great days, he receives a sticker. Sticker days are the best. He gets to play Wii with dad, read a special book with me, and usually stay up a bit past bed time.

Today was not a sticker day. Today was a rough day.

I should have known school wouldn't go smoothly after this morning. Charlie was in his highchair nibbling on a cracker, while I rushed upstairs to throw on my clothes. Jackson normally uses this time to "entertain" Charlie with some song and dance routines or maybe even a puppet act. Really, this time is more for Jackson. He has a captive audience. But Charlie seems to like it, so why not?

By the time I reached the top of the stairs Charlie started bawling. Jackson was unusually quiet. I asked him what happened and he replied: "I forgot". Sneaky little guy. A little too much like Bill Clinton. I couldn't have been more surprised if he asked to take the 5th, or define "happened". Regardless, discussions on not hurting Charlie and being honest with mommy ensued. I thought the lesson was learned.

However...after school at pick up, I knew something wasn't right. Jackson walked towards me, head hung low and shoulders slumped. I waited until we got in the car before asking. In the car, Jackson informed me he got a note sent home. A note is worse than a check mark worse than having your number turned upside down, and worse than getting sent to the office.

These "notes" inform the parents of the bad behavior and have a signature line, so they no doubt can file it away in your kid's permanent records. I read the note. "Jackson threw a rock today at recess and then lied to the first grade teacher who saw him throw the rock." Nice. Proud moment. So I geared up for some parenting lessons.

In my best mommy voice I asked: "Jackson, why did you lie to the teacher about throwing rocks?" Jackson quickly replied, "well...she asked me why I was throwing rocks at people and I wasn't. I was throwing the rock in the air." (emphasis added by Jackson). Stump #1.

Technically, he didn't lie, because if the teacher did actually ask him if he was throwing rocks at people and he wasn't, then he wasn't lying. However, I pressed on and said: "You know you aren't suppose to throw rocks at people or at things right?" Without skipping a beat he retorted: "I told you...I wasn't throwing rocks...I threw a rock." Doh! Stump #2.

This kid is killing the adults with technicalities. I paused, took a moment and rephrased my question: "You know you aren't suppose to throw a rock or rocks...correct?" This question only elicited an "mmm um."

Sensing he was losing footing Jackson continued: "Well...I was just helping. There was this boy who wanted to throw the rock really high and asked me if I could help him." I sighed, redirected the witness...er Jackson, and countered: "You just admitted that you know throwing a rock or rocks is not right."

What transpired next was truly brilliant from a litigator's point of view. Jackson made an empassioned plea for sympathy. He composed his face into a small little smile and softly said: "I was just trying to help...like God." The God trump card! What jury wouldn't love this kid? No one can argue with someone trying to be like God.

In an effort to reinforce helping others, but point out the flaw in his argument, I told him that he was right that God helps people, but "God does not help people do things they know are not right. It's good to help people out, but we can't use that as an excuse for doing what we know is wrong." Brilliant finale by mom if I say so myself!

With the argument over, Jackson moved onto negotiating punishment terms.

On days like today, I have no doubt that I'm using my legal skills more with raising my son than with members of the bar. I'm mentally exhausted and we haven't even started homework.